Red Hot Mutha'

Okay, so I end up getting the wrong amount of Celexa about a month ago. (I got only 20 mg. instead of the 40 mg. due to a mistake...long story...) I figured I'd try it, see what happens, if there's a noticable difference, whatever. I wasn't trying to hide it for any vile reason, just to see if I could do without. So here's a list of things that I've been noticing lately:
-I'm increasingly obsessed with the amounts of food I've been eating. (I cut my lunch down to half a sandwich and a piece of fruit and a cup of miso soup. Even though this sounds like a lot, by the time I get home at the end of the day, I'm famished.)
-I look at myself in the mirror and reflections more, and hate specific body parts.
-I'm starting to "check and re-check" stupid stuff again, like the iron and the alarm clock.
-I'm more irritable and quick to get pissed off and unable to deal with common obstacles, like traffic or being behind a slow person somewhere.
-I'm thinking about myself too much (hence this blog entry!)
-I'm getting a weird craving for alcohol. I was thinking about this, and this happened to me when I was going off paxil a long time ago. I don't know if it's just coincidence, but I know it's not like me.
-I have the worse friggin' cottonmouth ever.
-I want to sleep alot more than I would like.
-And the one that bothers me the most: I'm worried that I can't be the best mother for Vince if I've got all this stuff going on in my head.

I'm going to see the "regular" doctor on Monday. Through the past three weeks, I've been trying to be all smiles and keep it together, but if I can notice these things, then I must not be doing a good job. (And if I can notice them, why can I control them? That's the billion-dollar question!) I'm not really one-hundred-percent in love with my job, but I know there's worse out there. I just get caught up in the daily monotony of it all, and it makes me want to scream. Monotony hurts me worse of all.