Red Hot Mutha'

It was so hard to see Vincent with the IV in his little hand, to see him strain to breathe, to see him pale with those dark circles under his eyes. I never want to see him like that again. I was so scared, but thanks to my meds I only "freaked out" twice: when we checked in the E.R. and I forgot his birthdate, and the night that they told us they might have to move him to the Pediatric ICU at another hospital. During the rest of it, I kinda felt like I wasn't really there all the way, like I was witnessing this whole scene and not participating. I don't want to talk about this anymore, only to say that having him has made me realize how fragile I am; that in spite of my nine lives anything that happened to him would finish me. Having him has made me feel so vulnerable, and if I think about it too much I'm scared.